Emotions, Lifestyle

When all you ever needed was to love yourself

Not the fake one mind you. The genuine one. The celebration of you being the most unique creation, or evolved species, however you want to put it. So unique that there is only one of you on the face of the earth.

The pandemic brought about a drastic change. A painful change, but for the better nonetheless.

At this time of reflection I read many books on money and success, and watched fitness videos. There was one self esteem video in which Chris and Heidi Powell fitness trainers talk about integrity towards onself to lose weight. They defined integrity as the commitment to wake up and attend a 7 am meeting with your boss on time. But in contast when you have to wake up for yourself at 7 am and exercise you just put it off. Why so much commitment to another person but none for yourself? What they said made me wonder for days…. This meant that people who love themselves above all others do indeed wake up at 5 am for their exercise and make a routine.

Just like exercise, I also realized how repetitive and boring meditation can be, despite it being immensely beneficial. It gets boring, so does constantly working on your projects day in day out. Why is it that some people master the discipline of a repetitive daily routine and monotonous business life? I thought hard. I discovered only a single answer.

If you love yourself you’ll excercise daily. If you love yourself you’ll sleep early and put that phone down. If you love yourself you’ll get your 8 hours sleep. If you love yourself you’ll watch very little tv and Netflix. If you love yourself you will go for a run in the park. If you love yourself you will eat healthy food and choose vegetables over a donut. If you love yourself you will value your sleep instead of a night out with friends in a bar. If you love yourself you’ll not waste your time. If you love yourself you’ll work hard at your job and create a business empire. If you love yourself you will choose the correct friends. If you love yourself you will be able to say No with no remorse. If you love yourself you will never allow any man or partner to abuse you mentally, verbally, physically. If you love and respect yourself you will never put up with rude behavior and allow anyone to insult you or belittle you. If you love yourself you will never have too much alcohol or smoke since your health will be your top priority. If you love yourself you will meditate five times a day without it feeling repetitive or bored. If you love yourself you will keep your room and workspace neat and tidy. If you love yourself you won’t put any toxic chemical on or in your body. If you love yourself you won’t waste your money on that sale. If you love yourself you won’t hoard clothes, shoes or makeup. If you love yourself you will manage your money carefully. If you love yourself you will follow your dreams and ignore all negative talk. If you love yourself you won’t ever have any negative self-talk or any self-hate. If you love yourself you will be the best version of yourself that you can ever be. If you love yourself you will love others. Finally if you love yourself you will be able to love someone else too and that is the point when you attract the “perfect” partner into your life, not because he loves you, but because you love you and know that you deserve to be loved in the best way possible and anything less than that you won’t put up with.

I realized that every single problem I encountered was that I felt so deeply unloved. Attending Catholic school, the Sisters taught me so much about serving “others”, loving “others” that I just never even knew that I existed. While being a helping hand for fellow human beings is a necessity, it cannot come from lack or self devaluation. It needs to come from a place of abundant love. Love yourself full to the brim such that your love is overflowing outside the cup and there is plenty to be shared outside, before you do anything for others and the help for others. That service will come from a place of ample love.

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